Need some advice. I (F22) don’t normally write on Reddit- but I feel like I’ve really messed up. I was stupid, desperate and thought I knew better than everyone else. Sorry, this is going to be a long one.
One of my biggest dreams was to own a permaculture property- I saved up for 2 years to purchase a small piece of land while at the same time practicing growing many plants and different permaculture practices whilst living at my parents place. I applied to so many places to do a “rent to buy” arrangement as even with all my saving, I couldn’t afford it. I was turned down by so, so many places and was getting desperate. I was depressed living at home with a dysfunctional family and feeling trapped. Then I found a small piece of land where the owner agreed. I paid €10,000 up front and then agreed to pay another €10,000 over 2 years.
I was informed that as it was a rural property I wasn’t allowed to build anything permanent, but I’m allowed to place a caravan on the land. I was completely okay with this as I have experience with living in caravans and the land was what was really in my heart- that and getting out of the rat race. So I purchased a 2nd hand caravan for €4000, renovated it with love. I’ve recieved so many messages from my family saying how proud they are of me and how excited they are to see what I will do, but also a few expressing concerns over safety, which I brushed off. In my mind this was a great investment- I could live here and avoid the ridiculous rental prices whilst also creating my dream garden.
I moved in last week and everything has broken down quickly.
First, the neighbours are terrible- I’m not a native in the language, so they are trying to use this against me. Trying to tell me that the land boundaries are different- trying to make me pay for their fencing, demanding that I remove certain plants from my property. I’m a very sensitive person and I hate upsetting people- this is literally breaking me down. I’ve also heard now that there’s a lot of theft and crime in this area, it’s making me too anxious to sleep, I’m worried both for my own safety and that my solar panels or other expensive gear may get stolen. I haven’t left the caravan in a week because of this.
Secondly, one of the neighbours asked if he could use part of my land as a private driveway as his land is more difficult to drive through- I explained that I’d rather he didn’t as I had plans to plant certain things there- he then informed me that while it’s legal to have a caravan on the land- it’s not legal to live in it full time like I am doing. My heart dropped, I laughed it off, and then quickly went to check online. He’s right- I had just stupidly assumed that if I had the right to place a caravan on the land I would also have the right to live in it.
The final nail in the coffin was finding out that I’ve severely overpaid. I asked a few of my nicer neighbors how much they paid for their land and they told me numbers in the ballpark of €6000-€10,000. I’m stuck with 2 years of debt for no reason. This was meant to be my forever place, I have been crying non stop for the past 2 days. I’ve been trying to figure out what to do. I have a dog and a cat and I can’t afford to rent a pet friendly place- that’s one of the reasons I wanted to live here.
I’ve tried talking to my parents about it- and they have told me I can go back to theirs for a few nights a week that way I’m not living there permanently but I feel like it doesn’t help as they are on the verge of a divorce and will most likely to be moving soon, I don’t know anyone else here.
I can’t plant a tree or do anything- I’m in constant anxiety. I literally can’t even look at a plant without feeling like I’m going to throw up. Even if I follow my plans and make this place beautiful, I can’t live here forever. It’s a waste of time and money to continue in my mind. But at the same time, what else am I meant to do, I can’t afford to rent anywhere with this debt, I really don’t earn much. I am saving maybe €400 a month after all my costs at the moment- and that’s with living extremely frugally.
I’ve thought about maybe asking the seller if he’ll buy it back off me for €6000 (as he’d be getting a caravan with solar) and cancel my remaining debt- but then I’ll have to return to live with my parents where I was just trapped inside watching permaculture videos all day dreaming. Maybe I can also try put it up for sale, but land isn’t really selling here, and I’d definitely also lose money in the sale, the locals aren’t as stupid as me.
I hate myself so much and feel like I’ve wasted away 2 years of my life. What would you do in my place?
